Post by Alena on Dec 27, 2006 11:43:25 GMT -5
Finding Freedom In No
Yes People
Many of us, from childhood on, are taught that saying yes is right and
saying no is wrong. We learn that acceding to demands allows us to avoid
conflict and criticism, please people, earn praise, and prove that we
care for the important people in our lives. Yet the right to say no is
indelibly intertwined with the ability to make choices. When we sense we
are limited in our options, compelled to say yes even when doing so is
not in our interests, we are effectively robbed of our ability to
choose. Growing out of this tendency to say yes even when we desperately
want to say no can be challenging because we suspect that others will
reject us for our assertiveness. But the reward we receive upon facing
this challenge is true freedom of choice.
When others ask you to take on work or do favors, consider their
requests carefully. If you feel pressed to say yes, consider whether you
are acquiescing out of a desire for approval or to stave off
disapproval. Remind yourself often that the ability to say no is an
important aspect of well-being, as it is an indication that you
understand the true value of your energy, talents, and time. As you
learn to articulate your personal power by saying no, you may feel
compelled to explore the myriad consequences of the word by responding
negatively to many or most of the requests put to you. The word "no" may
even become your default response for some time. When you see that life
moves forward without interruption, however, you will grow more
comfortable saying no and will resume making decisions from a point of
balance.
There is nothing inherently wrong with acceding to the requests others
make of you, provided these requests do not infringe upon your health or
your happiness. Keep in mind that it is only when you feel you have the
legitimate right to say no that you can say yes with utmost certainty,
sincerity, and enthusiasm. While saying yes almost always has a cost,
you can feel good about offering your agreement when your reasons for
doing so are rooted in your individual values and your appreciation for
the appeal before you.
DailyOM Website: www.dailyom.com/
Subscribe:
www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/userinfo/settings.cgi?subscribe=1
Unsubscribe:
www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/userinfo/settings.cgi?unsubscribe=1
Email Settings:
www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/userinfo/settings.cgi?settings=1
Copyright 2004-06 DailyOM - All rights reserved
Yes People
Many of us, from childhood on, are taught that saying yes is right and
saying no is wrong. We learn that acceding to demands allows us to avoid
conflict and criticism, please people, earn praise, and prove that we
care for the important people in our lives. Yet the right to say no is
indelibly intertwined with the ability to make choices. When we sense we
are limited in our options, compelled to say yes even when doing so is
not in our interests, we are effectively robbed of our ability to
choose. Growing out of this tendency to say yes even when we desperately
want to say no can be challenging because we suspect that others will
reject us for our assertiveness. But the reward we receive upon facing
this challenge is true freedom of choice.
When others ask you to take on work or do favors, consider their
requests carefully. If you feel pressed to say yes, consider whether you
are acquiescing out of a desire for approval or to stave off
disapproval. Remind yourself often that the ability to say no is an
important aspect of well-being, as it is an indication that you
understand the true value of your energy, talents, and time. As you
learn to articulate your personal power by saying no, you may feel
compelled to explore the myriad consequences of the word by responding
negatively to many or most of the requests put to you. The word "no" may
even become your default response for some time. When you see that life
moves forward without interruption, however, you will grow more
comfortable saying no and will resume making decisions from a point of
balance.
There is nothing inherently wrong with acceding to the requests others
make of you, provided these requests do not infringe upon your health or
your happiness. Keep in mind that it is only when you feel you have the
legitimate right to say no that you can say yes with utmost certainty,
sincerity, and enthusiasm. While saying yes almost always has a cost,
you can feel good about offering your agreement when your reasons for
doing so are rooted in your individual values and your appreciation for
the appeal before you.
DailyOM Website: www.dailyom.com/
Subscribe:
www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/userinfo/settings.cgi?subscribe=1
Unsubscribe:
www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/userinfo/settings.cgi?unsubscribe=1
Email Settings:
www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/userinfo/settings.cgi?settings=1
Copyright 2004-06 DailyOM - All rights reserved